Return to New York
by KatyRose4
Summary: Jack's been gone for seven years, but returns to New York for one day. Crutchy's in trouble, friends are mad, Spot is missing, old romances rise to the surface, and a gang is causing problems.
1. Welcome Back

**Disclaimer: I don't own Newsies.**

If you were to ask me what I was doing back, I wouldn't have been able to give you a straight answer. Why _did_ I go to New York again? Why did I willingly walk through the cold, cobblestone streets, shuddering at the thought of running into the old ghosts that haunted me? Well, the proper answer would be this: I was visiting a friend in Maine, and taking two trains was a lot easier. The first one happened to stop there. But perhaps it was something more. Maybe it was to say goodbye. New York was such a big chapter of my life. Eighteen years there, and it seemed to be a story without end. Maybe it was my closure. Maybe it was what I needed. Maybe it didn't matter. Even as I look back on this, I don't know. Either way, it was not what I initially planned. It's just how it happened. Besides, my trip wasn't that long. One night and that was all. The second train was scheduled to leave the next morning. It's amazing just how much happened in twenty-four hours.

I wandered around. I didn't know where I was going, I just walked. I still knew the city well. I knew I wouldn't get lost, and that even if I did, I could just ask for directions. The gloomy sky above and the towering buildings flashed by like a moving picture film. I didn't look at the people I passed by, but I knew they were there, the colors of their clothes and faces blurred by me. Everything looked so familiar, but that was only a trick. New York had changed. I had changed. We weren't connected anymore. Honestly, I didn't really care. While I felt that I should've, I just didn't.

I stopped in front of the old Lodging House. It looked the exact same as before, but the inside probably wasn't. It felt so much different. It used to be my place, my home. But I saw in then and knew that I was merely an outsider, not a part of it anymore. I don't feel sad about that, that idea just seems to cross my mind.

"Jack?" a voice called out, breaking my thoughts.

It sounded familiar. I knew that person. "Dutchy?" It was him. And he wasn't alone. The little blonde boy had Pie-Eater and Snoddy at his side. We exchanged hugs. It felt weird and out of place after so many years apart, but it was definitely more appropriate for the situation. A handshake would've just been too formal, and a spit shake would've had the opposite problem. We were too old for that.

"You're going for a visit?" Pie-Eater asked, motioning to the Lodging House.

"Oh, no. I was just walking around and I happened to pass by." I figured that most of the people I knew were probably gone anyway. Oh the memories. Of sleeping with dozens of smelly boys around me, and the hustle of waking up in the morning, and playing poker with Racetrack. The bum. The gambling, wisecracking, horseracing-obsessed, swindling, bum. And of course one of my good old friends. I wondered what was going on with him, and what happened to Mr. Kloppman. For all I knew, he could be dead. He was so old the last time I was there, in his seventies I could tell, even though he refused to tell us his age.

"Ah. We were just heading off to lunch. You want to join us?"

"No, I wouldn't want to get in the way of your plans." I knew that it would be awkward. I hadn't seen or talked to them for seven whole years. And I didn't want to interrupt their day out.

But then they _insisted_ I join them. I was actually hungry, and catching up with them did seem good. Of course I was hesitant and had my doubts, but eventually agreed.

"Aw come on, Jack," Snoddy whined.

"Okay, okay."

The four of us set off for Tibby's.

Tibby's looked exactly the same as it always did, but the waiters that once looked familiar were either much older or weren't there anymore. Time passes after all. I thought, _How long ago did we last come here together? When was the last time I came at all?_ It was probably a week or two before going to Santa Fe, so I must've been around eighteen. That seemed like a lifetime ago.

"How have you been?" Snoddy asked.

"Good I guess." I didn't know what to say. I left. I wouldn't want them to think my life was that much better without them. Truth be told, I really did like Santa Fe. The farm life suited me well, and I met some nice people. But it wasn't perfect, and definitely different from what I was used to. It wouldn't be lying to say that some things in my life weren't so great, but overall, I was happy there. Maybe I was just overthinking everything. My response didn't matter much I bet. "What's going on with you guys?"

"Nothing much. We work in a textile factory," Snoddy replied.

"What about the others?"

Dutchy answered my question. "Everyone is still in the city. Boots and Les are newsies, David works for _the Sun_ and he lives with Crutchy. I think everyone else works in factories like us. Except for Specs, he moved to the country. I think Spot left too. No one's seen him in ages. It's like he disappeared."

"And the Delancey brothers?"

"Surprisingly, they're actually okay. They both got married and have kids. I haven't seen Morris in a while, but Oscar's still around. I say hi to him on the street."

"Really? They're nice?"

"Yeah," Snoddy confirmed. "He doesn't mess with anyone anymore."

"Interesting." It was kind of odd, thinking of the Delancey brothers in a way that didn't involve them beating someone up.

We continued to talk as we ate. When we finished our food, Mush walked out from the back. "Hey guys."

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you," Dutchy added. "Mush works here." That really surprised me. "He's a waiter."

That was obvious. He was carrying a tray of drinks (for a different table.) He finished up with that and joined us. "Wow. Jack Kelly. It's really Jack Kelly! Haven't seen you here in a long time."

"Yeah, it's nice to see you."

"You know, my shift is over, and I'm going to visit David and Crutchy. Do you want to come with me?"

"Um…Sure."

 **Author's Note: I finished this story, but it's cringy and needs some serious editing, so this is probably all there is. Hopefully you enjoyed this little part at least.**


	2. Sad Surprises

David and Crutchy had been roommates ever since they quit being newsies. Mush said that the apartment wasn't too far away from Tibby's, only half a mile. I was a little nervous knowing I would see them again but at the very least, the people I recognized so far weren't hostile. That was a good sign. I also knew that Crutchy was friendly and that David was rational. I figured that they would be good-natured like the others I met that day.

We walked through a neighborhood that appeared to have hit hard times. Most of the stores were empty and the buildings didn't look good. They were falling apart. The air was dreary and gray, thick with depression. Even the people milling around looked unhappy. Not that I could blame them. That place used to be alive, and full of energy. Now it was only a shadow of its former glory. And it became harder and harder to remember what it once was like.

Then I saw Oscar Delancey walking out of a shop. He was carrying two suitcases, one in each hand, to a carriage parked on the sidewalk. I didn't know if it would be in my best interest to talk to him or not, but I wasn't the one to decide that. He looked at me and said, "Jack Kelly."

I waved hello and walked towards him. "You're going on a trip somewhere?"

"Yeah." He put his two bags on the seats. "I'm moving to Ohio to live with Morris."

The word "Why?" just spurted out of my mouth. I honestly didn't and still don't know why I cared.

"I used to own a butcher shop." He gestured to the place he stepped out of. "But Alex Barone's gang made me pay a hundred a month and I couldn't afford to keep the place open anymore. He threatened to hurt me and my family. I hate that man. I call him Bones. Everyone scared of him does." Oscar Delancey scared? I never thought I'd see the day.

"So I had to leave," he continued. "And Morris was the only person I could go to…But I guess it could be worse. I'll figure out a way to get my own place soon enough. Maybe I'll even be able to come back." There was a pause. In that little gap of time, I could tell just how upset he was. "Are you ready, Isabelle?" A very pregnant woman, his wife, nodded and came out of the shop. Oscar helped her into the carriage. Two other children, a young boy and girl, were waiting as well.

"I'm so sorry about what happened." I never thought I would see a Delancey scared and I never thought I would feel any sympathy for a Delancey either, but I did. It wasn't fair that he had to leave his home and go bankrupt because of a gang.

His mouth was a straight line. He spoke with no emotion. "Thank you." He climbed into the driver's seat and the Delancey family rode away.

"Alex Barone and his buddies have been terrorizing the Lower East Side for the past two or three years. It's gotten really bad," Mush told me. "And the Refuge is back up too."

"What?"

"Yeah. Blink works there."

"Why would he do that?" He had heard countless horror stories from people that used to be there. He knew about the starvation and the overly harsh punishments and how awful the guards were. I saw the Refuge's _poison_ with my own eyes back when I was there, and Blink understood it better than most people. I couldn't understand why he would want to be a part of that. A shiver went down my spine.

"He needs the money, I guess. He'd been out of work for a long time and it was the only job he could get. But if it's any consolation, he's one of the nicer guards there." I was still upset, but that was slightly comforting. "It's a good thing too. Snipeshooter and Tumbler got arrested." They had been such nice kids and I got a little upset. I couldn't bear to imagine them in prison, especially knowing that a lot of the so-called 'crimes' to get arrested weren't that bad. I don't know what's happened to them since, but I hope they're okay. "Skittery too…Except he's too old for the Refuge. He's in the state penitentiary." _Oh look, more good news,_ I thought bitterly.

Skittery handled the mental trauma of jail a lot better than most people did, but his reputation was tarnished and he died penniless on the streets less than a year after he was freed. Friends had offered him food and a place to stay, but he didn't want to accept charity. Legend has it that he met Weasel in jail too, but David dispelled the rumor and told me that Weasel died of pneumonia eighteen months before my visit and had worked at a bookstore every moment following the strike.

I asked myself a question that was so scary, I didn't even want to address it. But I knew I couldn't ignore it. "Is the Refuge as bad as it was before?" Mush didn't say anything. But, as I found out later, the answer was yes.

It wasn't long before we got to the apartment. "Hi," Mush greeted when the door opened. "I have the food." Apparently, (this was mentioned in a letter later), he would act as a deliveryman for Crutchy and David when David was too busy working.

It was Les that let us in. He motioned inside, and Mush put the stuff on the dining table. "Jack?" It must've been surprising to see me after so long. "David, come here." I walked inside, and noticed that he was sitting at his desk writing, probably an article for the paper. He didn't seem happy with having to put his work down, but he did it anyway. He smiled when he saw me, but it didn't seem genuine. There was sort of a cold tone to it. Even Les didn't seem too excited that I was there. He was definitely surprised, but I wasn't exactly sure how he felt. I understood why they would be mad at me. I had left them out of nowhere. But at the same time, seven years had passed. I thought that they would've gotten over any anger.

David only said, "Hello," before going back to what he was doing before.

Mush and I walked farther into the apartment. "Crutchy is through there," Mush explained to me. I peeked through the door but didn't go inside. Crutchy was underneath the covers of the bed and I wasn't sure if we should bother him if he was asleep. "Just knock. He's always like that." It was like Mush had read my mind.

I tapped the door. Crutchy started to stir, until he eventually sat up. He was paler than I remembered. Everything about him seemed older and more tired. Except for his grin, which hadn't changed at all. He had kept his positive attitude.

"How you doing, Crutchy?"

"Getting on by," he replied. It was his way of evading an actual answer. "What are you doing here?"

"I'm in the city for the day, and just thought that I'd stop in."

David interrupted us. "It's time to eat."

Mush and I let ourselves out. "He's been sick the past few months. They say he's getting worse and that it's only a matter of time before…" A lot of the people I know have seen or dealt with death before. That still didn't make it an easy subject to talk about. Crutchy could very well die. How soon, I didn't know. The idea made my stomach churn and my palms sweat. No wonder Crutchy hadn't said anything. "Who's 'they'?"

"Doctors. David took out some money from his savings." How noble. "Sorry. I guess I should've warned you."

"No that's fine, Mush. Just fine."


	3. Sarah the Angel

Mush and I were just about to leave. Mush had to go back to work and I had already done my quick visit. Plus, I needed to make sure I had enough time to find a place to stay for the night. But before we could go, I heard a knock at the door. Les let the new guest inside. It was Sarah, and she looked as beautiful as ever. She seemed a lot more mature. I mean, she pretty much looked the exact same as she did seven years ago. But her demeanor was really different. She wasn't as complacent or timid. She was still sweet of course (both inside and out), but there was also this sort of silent strength. There was confidence in the way she walked. She walked like an angel.

If you couldn't already tell from my long essay on how amazing Sarah is, I still kind of liked her. I didn't stop loving her when I went to Santa Fe. In fact, she was one of the hardest things I had to leave. It took months for me to move on and find someone else. I didn't think of her that frequently, only once in a while. I even had a new girlfriend. I thought that I had gotten over her. But in that tiny apartment, as she stood there, I wasn't so sure. My heart was beating twice as fast as usual and I was breathless. I knew that I shouldn't have felt that way. I reminded myself that I had been dating Joanna for over four years and I wasn't supposed to look at other girls that way. So I pushed those thoughts off to the side and gave a polite smile.

"I need a fav- oh my gosh, Jack!" She smiled, giving me one of the warmest welcomes I had received that day. She seemed so excited, and I was too. Time seemed to slow down.

"Hey Sarah."

"Where are David and Les?" She looked past me. "Oh there they are."

"I was just about to head out."

"Oh. You can't stay for a few more minutes?"

I smiled. One part of my head was screaming, "Yes! She doesn't hate me!" The other part of my head was screaming, "Um, what about _Joanna_! Have some respect!" Still, I knew that staying a few minutes didn't have to mean anything at all, let alone anything romantic. And I didn't have anything else planned, just to find some sort of lodging, which I figured that I could do later anyway. I looked at Mush and he seemed fine with it so I said, "Okay." I was glad, because I wanted to catch up with her.

The couch only sat two people and David and Les took it. So Mush, Sarah, and I had to pull up dining chairs. I looked at the pattern on the walls. It was tacky, flowers covering a dull, yellow, backdrop. It was starting to peel off the walls. The five of us drank tea or water around a small table. Sarah took a small sip then put her cup down. "David, I need some money." She seemed sad and nervous. It was a real hit to her pride, and clearly a last-resort situation.

"Why?" he asked.

"Joseph needs it for the shop." At first I didn't know who Joseph was. Then I saw the wedding ring on her finger and made the (correct) assumption he was her husband.

"He's not drinking or gambling is he?" David sounded mad. He could be very protective of his sister and wanted to make sure her husband was treating her properly. He treated all of Sarah's boyfriends that way. After he realized we liked each other, he sat me down and gave me a lecture on how I had to be a good boyfriend for Sarah and how he would kill me if I ever hurt her. I obviously ignored all of what he said.

"Oh, no, nothing like that. The shop...it just...it needs a makeover."

"A makeover? I'm not giving you money for that."

"Just enough for a new coat of paint." By the way she spoke, we knew that she wasn't just talking about a coat of paint. There was clearly more work to be done.

"Just like week you said that the business was doing fine, surely you should be able to afford paint."

Sarah was squirming in her seat and mumbled half her words. "We need new windows too. And I don't think Joseph can do it by himself so we'll probably need to hire someone."

"Windows?" David saw through her too easily. Sarah was just never good at subtlety.

"The shop was vandalized, okay? Is that what you want to hear?" She was upset. Not too angry, not too sad, somewhere in between. Just upset and frustrated.

"Don't tell me the Alex Barone is involved." Sarah gave a small nod. I knew that she if was too scared to talk about them directly, then something must've really been wrong. No wonder New York seemed so grim.

"They can't push people around anymore," I declared, remembering Oscar.

"Well what do you suppose we do about it?" He didn't seem too happy with my outburst. Classic David. It was just like the strike. He probably just thought I was being a silly radical again. And maybe I was. The world needs realistic people like him. But the world also needs idiots like me.

"We get all the info we can and soak the life out of him."

"Beat up Alex Barone? That's a terrible idea."

"Then I'll do it myself."

"That's an even _more_ terrible idea."

"Doesn't mean I won't do it." I was gone for a long time. But David knew me well enough to understand that I would follow my plan, with or without any help. I was young, rash, and I didn't realize the full situation. But at the same time, there was a serious issue that had to be dealt with. I looked into his eyes, challenging him to think about it. He had his point but so did I. What if there was something we could do? What if what we did actually worked? A thought nagged at the both of our minds, that we were going to get in trouble. But he knew that I wouldn't step away, and he didn't want me to go alone.

David said, "Fine, I'll help." Though I wasn't sure he was too into it.

"What's the first step?" Sarah piped up.

I replied, "Spot Conlon." He knew everything going on in the streets of New York. In every borough, not just his own.

"No one has heard from him in over a year," Mush pointed out.

"He wouldn't leave the city without appointing spies first. Maybe they can tell us something." It would be a long way to Brooklyn, but none of us had a better plan.

"Sorry, I can't. I have to go back to work." Mush stood up. I wouldn't call him a chicken, cause I know that he would've joined us if he could. "Good luck." He let himself out.

Soon after, we left the apartment too. A part of me wanted nothing to happen. I didn't want any danger or messy situations. I didn't want Sarah, and Les, and David to have any more problems to deal with. Yet, I also wanted everything to happen. I wanted to get rid of Barone and his friends. Because if they weren't going to hurt me that day, they would've hurt the Jacobses later.

 **Author's Note: Thank you SO Mellpen00 for your review. It really spurred me on. :) Without you, this probably would've been published at least a week later.**


	4. Searching for Allies

As we walked, I tried to start up a conversation. "Are you still selling?" I asked Les. Dutchy had told me that Les was still a newsie but I was kind of confused, cause I figured that Les would be out working at this hour.

"Yeah, but I go to school now and I wanted to do homework first."

He didn't elaborate, so I moved on to something else. "How's your folks?"

Sarah made me a face that said that my topic was not a good choice. She looked worried and mouthed "don't" to me. But David answered my question. If I had said something wrong, he didn't show it. "Our father died in another accident last year. Mama's not taking it too well." I could see that it wasn't an easy subject for him to talk about, though he maintained a neutral exterior. "Les still technically lives with her, but he spends most of his time at my apartment."

I didn't say anything to him after that. I could tell that he didn't want to talk to me anymore. And because I had lost my own mother, I understood where he was coming from. So I chatted with Sarah instead. "So…Joseph's your husband?" I didn't know what else to talk about. I had just been thinking about it.

"Yes, for about two years. I worked for his father's clothing shop. Now he runs it."

"You happy with him?"

"Yes, I am." She was the kind of person to like things being orderly and calm. Clean. It seemed like a rather boring life. But at least she was okay with it. I suppose it's a good thing that she didn't end up with me. I'm not quiet in the slightest.

We continued some small talk and made it to the docks around three. I got a little uncomfortable as I walked through crowd. Spot may have been gone, but that didn't change the fact that I didn't belong in Brooklyn (or in New York, for that matter.) Luckily, most people didn't pay attention to me. I told myself that I was just being paranoid. But I had a feeling that something bad was going to happen.

I squinted through the sunlight as I tried to find someone I could talk to. I recognized a few people as former newsies, but I didn't know any of them personally, and it would've been weird to talk to them. Except for one guy. He was sitting on a crate and smoking a cigarette. "Hey Eric." Back in the Refuge, he used to be called Red.

"Jack." He stood up. "Long time no see. What are you doing here?"

"Just passing through the neighborhood. I've been trying to get some information."

"On what?"

"Alex Barone." His face darkened. "You heard of him?"

"Oh, you mean Bones? Yeah I heard of him. Who hasn't?" My lack of street smarts was kind of embarrassing. But I had an excuse since I had been out of New York for a while. And no one was going to make fun of me. The manual labor made my muscles bigger and I could pack a decent punch. And I used to popular. So Red ignored my slip-up, threw his cigarette on the ground, and continued. "What do you want to know?"

"Anything important."

"His main hideout is somewhere around Eighth Street, on the East Side. I don't know a lot of people in his gang. There's Ryan McCallister, John Michaels, um…Tony Higgins,"

"Tony Higgins?"

"Yeah." That was Racetrack's name.

My old friend, who used to be one of my best friends, was now busting heads. I had known him for so long…I didn't think that he could stoop so low. David and Les looked surprised too, but I knew that they couldn't possibly understand. I had known Racetrack for longer. I grew up with him. And if David and Les were all buddy-buddy with him, they would've known he worked for Barone. "Thanks."

And the four of us walked away. I didn't want to talk about Alex Barone or "Bones" or whatever, anymore. I only paid attention to the sound of the creaking wood I stepped on. I didn't know how to feel. I didn't know whether to feel sad or angry, or surprised. The more I tried to forget, the more I remembered. And the more I tried to analyze the situation, the more confusing it became.

Sarah brought me out of my silence. "What's next?"

"We're going to Eighth Street."

"And what do you suppose we do once we get there?" David piped up. It reminded me so much of beginning the strike.

Once again, he had doubts. (And so did I, but I wasn't going to admit that.) I thought about it for a moment. "I don't know. But we'll figure something out." That's how I would usually come up with my ideas.

"That's a terrible plan."

"Well when you come up with something better, let me know. I'm going with or without you."

David huffed but begrudgingly followed me.

We got back to Manhattan, and I was still confused about our next step. Even if I did manage to find the hideout, what would I do? I was debating between trying to bust in, or wait for someone to walk out, and I was even considering walking away from it all. I just knew that I had to get down there.

We went by an alley, where I could hear some slight groaning. I automatically assumed it was from a homeless person. I turned to look at where the sound was coming from. There was a lump on the floor, clearly a person, onto their side, facing away from me. I could see blood on the ground. For some reason, I paused. My gut told me. The lump rolled over and I could see their face. It was Higgins.


	5. Making Mistakes

I stared at David, asking him what we should do. I was in a moral crisis. Race was in a gang that threatened Oscar, Sarah, and others. I never liked Oscar, but he was an honest man with a pregnant wife that didn't deserve thugs knocking on his door. But at the same time, I didn't just want to leave Race there unconscious. He was an old friend. I could tell that David was thinking the same. We were both conflicted, and time seemed to be frozen. I didn't want to have to make the decision. I had hoped someone would make a suggestion, mostly so I wouldn't have any blame or guilt if something went wrong. But I didn't want to waste time, so I finally made a move.

I tapped Racetrack on the shoulder, and with David's help, got him to stand. We helped him stumble back to the apartment (luckily, it was only a few blocks away) and sat him down on the couch.

The blood on the street had come from several deep (but not fatal) gashes: one on his arm, another on his side, and a third on his forehead. He was bruised and scraped all over. Sarah got supplies from the medicine cabinet and started right away. Though he wasn't on death's door, he was still injured, and there was work to be done. "You can stay if you want," Sarah said. "But I think he could use some space. If he wakes up and sees a crowd of people staring at him, he'll get overwhelmed."

"Right," David agreed. "Les, you come with me." He guided him over to Crutchy's room, then turned back to look at me. "Are you coming?"

"I'm staying here." There wasn't any need to explain my logic. I had known Race the longest, and knew more about him. David was the one who had stayed in New York, but Racetrack had been out of the way, so they weren't exactly buddies. I was the closest person to him, and it made sense for me to be there.

Sarah poured alcohol on the cuts to speed the healing process. When she was finished I took a swig of the bottle myself, because I really needed a drink. I guess the stinging sensation woke him up, because he started to shift. Then his eyes opened. "I tried to get out you know," he said. His voice was very weak. "They wouldn't let me."

"Then why'd you join in the first place?" Sarah gave me a dirty look. Antagonizing him and getting him to talk may not have been the smartest idea, but I had to know. And yeah, I was angry, so his feelings weren't the first thing on my mind.

"I needed a place to sleep and food to eat. And I just organized the finances- I didn't hurt nobody, not back then. I swear! I swear on my life." I believed him. And I understood that people need to do whatever they have to do to survive. So I couldn't judge him too harshly. Still, I needed to hear more of an explanation. Maybe I wasn't the most virtuous, law-abiding citizen; but at least I never hurt anyone.

"Then how did it get to this?" I asked.

"I moved up to collecting money. I would go with a group of guys, and if someone gave us any trouble or didn't pay up for a while, we would rough them up. Break a leg, or smash their head or something."

"Just get to the point." I was waiting for him to tell me something I didn't already know.

"Normally it wouldn't ever come to that," he continued. "But…one time it did. I broke this guy's legs, and when I left I saw that he had a kid. He's not going to be able to work now. How will he take care of her?" Looking at Race, I could tell that he really felt sorry. He was not giving us an act. "I couldn't handle it anymore." That's why he tried to leave. I was still upset with him. But not as much as before.

The next moments were spent in a bored and heavy silence, as hot air lazed around. Nothing interesting was going on. David was still with Les in Crutchy's room. Racetrack had fallen back asleep. Sarah and I were just sitting there, looking at each other. My palms were sweating and I felt kind of nervous. I could feel my heartbeat. I knew it was because I liked her. Those lips, those eyes, those arms, I wanted them to be mine. I wanted to go back to the past, just for just a few minutes, so I could remember what it was like when we were together. I knew that that was wrong, but the more I tried to ignore it, the more I was convinced that I was in love with her, and it was very frustrating.

Then she broke the silence. "What are we going to do next?"

"When Race wakes up, I'm going to find out exactly where Barone is and we'll go to the police."

"And you really think that's going to work?"

"No. But what else can I do?" I knew as well as anyone that the city was corrupted. But it was worth a shot, at least in my eyes. Besides, they did a good job breaking up the strike and arresting me, and I'm very tough to catch. They could be useful. I wanted to come up with another plan, but any time I did, my mind would start to go back to Sarah.

She looked at Racetrack. "If we're going to talk," she whispered. "I think we should move to David's room." And we did. She looked at the floor. It was littered with paper and dirty clothes. "He really needs to clean up in here," she joked.

"Yeah, he does…Listen, um, I really appreciate what you're doing. Helping Race and all."

"It's nothing. Just some tricks my mother taught me."

"But, I mean, Barone's gang is messing with your husband. It's pretty…It's pretty big of you to look past that. You know." I probably sounded like an idiot, stumbling over my words like that. But she was so pretty and it got me distracted.

"I could say the same for you. You're the one who brought him in. And he's not part of that anymore." We just stared at each other at this point, but for some reason, it wasn't awkward. Something was pushing me towards her, an impulse that I simply couldn't ignore. It came on too fast and I was too weak. I leaned my head in towards her and pressed my lips against hers.

I felt sick to my stomach and shouted a curse in my head. Because that's not what you do to a married lady. I thought she would slap me, push me away, or worst of all, leave me to wonder just what the punishment would be. I hoped I could smooth it all over, turn back time, and change everything.

But to my surprise, she kissed me back. And all of a sudden, I didn't feel so bad anymore. When it was over we looked at each other. There was a little bit of fear, mostly surprise, but she went back in for more, and the feelings melted into excitement. Finally, I was getting what I wanted. I wasn't thinking of any rules, because in that moment, there weren't any. It was just the two of us, together, two souls blended. We had a connection and understood each other as if I had never left. I felt like we were going to stay there forever. I wanted to. I put my hand on her back, slid it down, and through the bottom of her blouse, felt for her bra.

She pulled away. "I, I'm sorry. I can't do this. Oh god, Joseph. Joseph!" She fell back to David's bed. She looked horrified at herself. I felt the same. I had driven this poor girl's loving relationship to ruin, all because I couldn't keep my stupid mouth shut. I had destroyed everything, and then there was Johanna to worry about. I couldn't handle it all, knowing I had done something so horrible.

I knew that we should've talked about it. I knew that I should've made a plan, or set some ground rules (or rather she should. It was my fault.) But I was speechless, too shocked to say or do anything. We stayed sat there for what was probably a minute. But it felt like a million years.


End file.
